porn logic: wow i spilled my drink on him i better take off his pants and suck his dick
weird that porn logic is also my life logic?
(Source: hungarian, via stayugly)
jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy
me after i tattoo the word shit on the inside of my eyelids: wow i can’t see shit in here
the most demoralizing thing that can happen to a girl is getting out of the shower and realizing that you have the nastiest clump of hair in your ass crack and then having to pull it out